Stealing From Employers

A common practice today, as any employer can attest, is theft by their employees. Employees take advantage of their employers in many ways. 

Among the most common methods is dishonesty in reported hours. Many employees will falsely report hours worked. They will clock in before they actually started working, round up their time, fail to clock out for breaks, falsely report the length of those breaks etc. Each individual theft is small, but cumulatively can amount to hundreds,  thousands, even tens of thousands of dollars per year. 

Many people will use company time and money to do personal errands and think little of it. Yet they know it is wrong. No matter how they try to justify, they know that they are doing wrong. Which is why they sneak and hide. They try to cover their dishonest acts with lies, alibis, trying to appear busy, etc. 

Conversely, there are many employers who will take advantage of their employees, and while that isn't right either, from my perspective it's not as much of an issue, because an employee that isn't treated fairly can always seek employment elsewhere.

If you are not honest with your employer, you won't be honest to anyone else either. Stealing is wrong, no matter how you do it, or who you steal from. 

Obvious Theft

The most obvious form of theft is when someone takes something that doesn't belong to them. Money, merchandise, vehicles, etc. are all obvious items that are stolen. 

What is remarkable is people's justifications for doing so. Some people are of the opinion that if they think they need it more than its rightful owner, that they are justified in taking it. They feel that if someone has wealth, that they won't miss it or that they can easily replace it.  They also often justify that those that have wealth obtained it by first stealing from others. That the rich are rich because they have taken from the poor. 

Justifications aside, let's make something clear. Stealing is wrong. No matter what justification you can come up with, no matter how great your need, no matter if you do it for someone else, it doesn't matter. Stealing is wrong. So if it doesn't belong to you, don't take it. If you really need it and are unable to pay, pray to God for help. And if your pride makes it hard to ask for help, put your ego aside.

Thou Shalt Not Steal

This commandment may seem obvious, but I think it should be discussed thoroughly. 

There are many who profess to believe in God, who claim to be Christians, Jews, Saints, etc. who will steal from those both outside and inside their circles. They will cheat one person or group of people to enrich themselves, and justify it for whatever reasons. 

I have seen people use their positions in their community, their family relationships, their friendships, etc. all to enrich themselves at the expense of others. 

Over the next while let's talk about some of the ways people steal from others, often without thinking about it, or how they justify their actions. 

Own It

Before I leave this topic, I just want to emphasize an important thing to remember in not only our relationship with our spouse, but with people in general. If your marriage is not as strong as it should be, if your relationship is falling apart, if your family is not as close as it could be, own up to it. Don't deny the reality. 

Now I'm not saying play the blame game. I'm saying take responsibility. Just realize a simple truth. No matter what situation you find yourself in today, know that it is your own choices that brought you there. Now if you deny this truth, then you are not in a position to better your situation. You are not where you are at because of the decisions of others. Your situation is not someone else's fault. Now I know sometimes bad things can happen, but I'm not talking about that.  And I am not talking about feeling guilty or blaming someone, not even yourself. 

What I am talking about is change. The moment you own up to the responsibility, you are required to do something about it. Now let's say your spouse wants to leave you. How did it come to that?  Was it founded on a weak relationship?  Was it based upon finances? Was it based upon some other thing that really wasn't that important?  What other factors played a role?  Have you been honest? Have you been looking for pleasure and satisfaction elsewhere?  Have you spent time together?  

Now I'm not saying that applying changes will turn around and save a bad situation. But I am saying that if you become the kind of person that a good man or woman would want to be married to, then you will be happier with whatever lot you find yourself in. Your happiness does not come from others. True happiness comes from knowing that your course is pleasing to your Father in heaven. And to find that course, you must be willing to humble yourself, and pray that you will know what you need to do, and be willing to do it. And once you find real happiness, it has been my observation that good people will want to be around you, and you will enjoy life more and help bring joy to others. 

I believe I have covered enough on this topic for now. I just want to leave the idea with you, that Christ's sacrifice was not about forgiving us unconditionally. His overwhelming message was one of mercy towards those who desire to repent. That's what grace is, it is the opportunity for us to repent.  I encourage all of my readers, if you desire to have a happy marriage, and to avoid sin, which brings only misery and unhappiness, then repent and strive to love your companion. I leave this with you and ask that God will bless all those who desire to receive. 

Rough Times

In is normal and common for people to go through some hard times in their marriage. This can can occur for a variety of reasons. Most of these reasons have been explored in my recent articles. But what do we do about it?

One important thing to realize is that most serious problems between couple are a mutual issue. I don't intend to make people feel guilty, but I would like them to realize that in most situations, both partners are pushing each other away. Person A leaves their coat on the floor. Person B gets frustrated and retaliates by withholding love. The decrease in intimacy  and the negativity creates feelings of hurt and loneliness, and Person A begins to withdraw themselves, and a negative cycle has begun. 

Effective communication is important. You cannot assume that the other person understands your struggle or disappointments, unless you communicate it effectively.  Shaming and belittling your spouse is NOT effective communication. If a young man is playing games rather than spending time with his wife and family, and it bothers her, trying to make him feel guilty is not going to strengthen your relationship. Nagging is not effective communication. Very often such behavior is used as an escape from a negative relationship. Likewise a man complaining that his wife spends too much, might need to look at himself. If he is not giving her what she needs, (I don't mean more stuff) she will seek it elsewhere. 

Instead of acting emotional and out of control, a woman could say to her husband "Honey, I know you like to play your games, but you are leaving me feeling very lonely. I feel like I have to compete with your entertainment, and it makes me feel hurt and neglected. I want to spend more time with you."  Try to communicate it in a positive way, don't try to make him feel guilty because he has a weakness, but rather let him know that he is loved. In many cases, such an approach will start to soften his heart, and he will begin to change himself because he wants something better. 

Same thing guys. In my example, many girls that really like shopping actually want attention, but they don't know how to get the kind of attention that they actually need. Because they don't feel like they get what they want from their spouse they seek for the approval of others, often by trying to get more things that they think will make them happy. 

Most problems in relationships result from selfishness. And it is by letting go of the ego that we are able to affect real change. We will grow greatly once we realize that we have no power to change someone else. The only person we can change is ourselves. True we can be inspired to change, but we have to do it. We have to own up to our responsibilities. If your marriage is struggling, own up to your own responsibility. 

Modesty

Now all this discussion in regards to these topics would be incomplete without touching upon the subject of modesty. 

The scriptures are quite vague upon the subject of dress. The reasons for this are largely because the laws and commandments are like training wheels. They are not meant as a strict set of rules to abide by, but rather as a set of principles that once learned teach us how to make intelligent choices. So laying out a strict dress code defeats this lesson. 

Modesty is a principle. We are taught to be clean, chaste, and virtuous. This includes how we behave and how we dress. Outward appearances are not everything, but they often reveal what is in our hearts. 

When a young man dresses like the world, he will by nature and natural consequence, attract certain kinds of friends, including certain kinds of girls. These friends are by nature peers. And they will affect how we think and act. This in turn can sculpt our lives. And the same rules will dictate that certain appearances will also repel certain kinds of people too, including girls.  Likewise with the girls. If they dress a certain way, they will by natural principles find themselves surrounded by certain kinds of friends, and will repel others. 

If a young girl wears heavy makeup and skimpy clothes or the latest fashion she will attract the attention of those who find that kind of thing appealing. And the boys who are interested in virtuous girls may think that a girl that is dressed that way is a tramp and will look elsewhere for a suitable companion. If a young man wears baggy pants and the trendy clothing, he will attract the shallow and vain people, and a good girl will be inclined to think that young boy is not suitable husband material. 

Modesty goes beyond how revealing clothing might be as well. Apparel that is excessively fancy or expensive attracts or repels certain types of people because it broadcasts what our hearts are set upon. It shows we want to be popular among certain peers. We should wear conservative styles because it reflects that we are disciplined and restrained in our habits. 

A saying goes, that you can't judge a book by its cover. That may be true, but the cover does usually indicate the contents. And while you could also have the proverbial wolf in sheep's clothing, the initial appearance is often fairly accurate. And conversely, you can send a negative message by the clothing you wear. Now a counter this is that it's what is in the inside that counts. Again, that is true, but often what's in the inside is shown by the choices we make. 

If you wear good, clean, modest clothing that covers your body and give you a pleasant appearance, it reflects upon who you are. And it doesn't matter what is popular, you will ultimately be happier as a person if you hold to your values.