Arranged Marriages

I cannot continue in this area without bringing up the subject of arranged marriages. I will break arranged marriages down into two basic types. 

The first type of arranged marriage is the type that's commonly thought of in fairy tales and such. The type where the parents or leaders arrange the matter beforehand, often for political reasons, and the participants are not given much choice in the matter. 

The second type is where the parents or leaders arrange the matter, but do so in a way that allows the participants full disclosure and agency. That is, the boy and girl are given their say in the matter, and are free to decide whether to proceed. 

Belief it or not, the second option is the most common marriage system in the world outside the Western nations. And believe it or not, it has a much higher success rate than dating. Why is this the case?  Because in most situations, parents want what is best for their children. And since in most situations, parents have more experience than young boys and girls, they are more likely to select good prospects for their children. Older more experienced people will look for good candidates with good qualities. While it is true that they aren't the ones who have to live with the decision, they will probably want good sons and daughters in law. 

On this matter, the statistics speak for themselves. Divorce in such circumstances is substantially lower, less than 10%, which is a reflection of the happiness in those marriages.

As for the first type, I am adamantly opposed to such infringements on people's liberties. I believe that liberty and agency is far more important than convenience or politics. Such marriages do still take place. Often it is done in a manner that outwardly appears like the participants have a choice, but behind the scenes, serious pressure and persuasion takes place. Often religion is used as a tool, threatening people with their salvation. Tactics are used where people are taught that their leaders have legitimate authority to bind the marriage, and that if they don't comply, they will not make it to heaven. To me, this type of manipulation is pure wickedness. In my view, anyone who uses such priestcraft is acting as accessory to rape. Sorry for my strong language, but that's how I feel about it. 

Arranged marriages can be a good thing, but only if those involved are free to make their choices. God may sometimes work though this means. I as always encourage young people to establish a personal relationship with God, and know for yourselves what is true and right. Don't blindly trust a leader for that connection. Know for yourselves.