In order to form a union of substance you need several things, one of the first of which is trust. If a man and a woman do not learn how to trust each other, then they will not be as united as they should be.
Part of this trust comes from a knowledge that both participants have kept themselves pure. When people have had sexual relations outside a marriage covenant, it creates a rift that interferes with all future relationships.
In Matthew 19:4- Jesus says "Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." According to this scripture, when a man and woman join, they become one. This is a natural part of marriage. They are to become united.
Another part is how a husband and wife treat each other. In order to be united, they need to love and respect each other. They need to serve one another. It is not a matter of the man being the head, nor should the woman take lead. Rather they need to learn to function together.
In order to be united, the goals need to be common. It helps when the goals are centered on something strong. Some of the strongest things are the things really matter. Cars, money, clothes, jewelry, gadgets, etc. are not strong goals and are not worth breaking the bond between husband and wife. When people seek to serve God, they learn to set aside the things of the world. And they learn to serve one another. In serving God, the bond between man and woman grows stronger and the love becomes deeper.
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