Drugs and Alcohol

One of the great problem areas is when someone gets into drugs or alcohol. These addictions can create major problems in a relationship. 

One of the largest and obvious reasons is that these substances can alter behavior and thought. It can take a person who would otherwise be happy, pleasant, peaceful, and kind and make them angry, unpleasant, troubled, and often mean. It can make them unstable and irrational. 

They say these substances can show who we really are inside. I both agree and disagree. Alcohol and drugs distort our decision making abilities and compromise our inhibitions. They say that when a person becomes abusive when he gets drunk it means that's who they really are. I will agree that a part of them must be, and that part is showing through. However a part of their character must also be the part that suppresses or overcomes that angry side. That part is often suppressed when under the influence of these substances, but it is also part of who they are. So drugs and alcohol in my mind do not show who a person really is, they rather amplify some traits while suppressing others. This hides or alters who that person really is. 

Repeated use begins to reprogram and alter they way they think. The drugs cause initial surges of pleasure ( or temporarily suppress stress), but as time and use goes on, the mind and body adapts to the effect and it takes either a higher dose or more frequent use to get the same effect. As this process continues it will eventually reach a point where it begins to interfere with other areas of their lives. It will adversely affect their work performance, their relationships, their finances, etc. 

This has the effect of making their sober lives increasing unpleasant to their perception, and the drugs offer a temporary escape. Either they fail to see that this substance abuse is causing their problems, or they know it but are unable and unwilling to change. They have become a slave to the substance. They increasingly want to escape their reality, and just satisfy their own pleasure. All with dire consequences. 

This eventually leads to broken relationships, isolation, unhappiness, and depression. Those in this situation have only a few choices, and because they can't see or think clearly, they either lose the will or ability to choose the best path. The choices are: realize the reality of the situation, own up to the responsibility, then begin to break the bonds and start rebuilding their lives, or continue on till it gets bad enough that intervention of some kind is excercised on their behalf, or the depression will eventual cause them to commit suicide.  Often they have to get very close to the third choice before they pick option number one. Other times option number two leads to number one. But in the end, it only has two outcomes. As harsh as it sounds, they either have to change or die.