While there are many that do not physically harm each other, just as damaging are the words we speak. I know of countless couples who attack and belittle each other, and make negative comments about each other. They compare each other to themselves, other people, silly ideas, etc. They use words like "always" and "never". They directly attack each other's value.
Now what does this accomplish? It breaks down the bond and unity and love that needs to exist between them. It leaves them feeling like they can never measure up to the other persons expectations, and that they cannot reconcile their differences.
This verbal abuse is in my opinion as destructive, if not worse than physical abuse. It scars the heart, and the deep emotional wounds are not easily healed.
Think about your words, and stop tearing each other down, not even in joking. It also makes no difference whether you directly say things to each other. I know many men and women who will belittle their spouse in front of others, referring to them as the nag, louse, or worse. When we belittle our other half, we lessen their value in our own minds and hearts, and we lessen and belittle ourselves.
This emotional manipulation does not always occur with words either. The "silent treatment" is a good example. Withholding other things, such as intimacy can at times be used as an abusive manipulative tool. Also saying things like "If you really loved me..." is a form of emotional manipulation.
Realize that abuse deeply hurts people and that hurt can cause deep wounds that in the long run will have costly consequences.
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